All three of these topics are effected by old age. All three of these topics are critical to life. Feel free to give me advice after you read what I am going through in any of these blogs. I do NOT have life figured out but we don’t get to pause life until while we do. We just have to keep going and keep trying to make the right decisions and learn from our mistakes along the way.

Let’s start with money. I never learned how to handle money well apparently. I have owned a home since I was 25 so I guess I haven’t failed at handling money but I certainly have not succeeded. Even now at age 63 I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. I have an IRA but it is for retirement and if I solely lived off of it, it might last me 8 years with SSI included. I don’t have a mortgage but I owe credit card companies more than I should. And I have paid off credit card debt a dozen times in life but always end up back in debt a few years later. I am bad!

I don’t buy expensive jewelry or clothing. I am driving a vehicle with 100k+ miles on it. So I am not a compulsive spender. Lately it’s just that I keep saying “you only live once” thinking these are the last years I can enjoy life so I am spending money on travel and experiences much more than things. If I end up living to 100, I certainly will be poor because I can’t afford 40 more years of “only living once” lol.

Last year my husband, who was my partner for 15 years at that point, and I decided to get officially married. Now mind you, we had got what I call legally married 4 years prior to that by my friend, a notary public, sitting in a classroom at the school she teaches at with noone else there. We got married because I was the breadwinner and income taxes were killing me. Married is a much better tax status in the U.S. So we got married for financial reasons. we did not tell our family we did this.

In 2022 when it was obvious his health was failing we got married officially in front of friends and family to declare our commitment to each other, to enjoy a big party, and to make it clear to all our children we were now in charge of each other’s lives (health care, financial and such). The wedding was a small wedding of about 30 people whom we served a full dinner and open bar for at a hotel. We paid for 1 night’s hotel for any children who did not want to drive afterwards. We spent the weekend at the hotel so friends who flew in from out of town could visit with us. It ended up costing us about $7k. It all went on a credit card — one I had just finished paying down lol. It was the sickest my husband had ever been (right after the wedding he ended up being put on a feeding tube because he kept getting lung infections from aspirating on food he ate and he had been losing a bunch of weight because he was not eating enough because of how difficult it was for him). He did not enjoy the event and actually volunteered to go back to our house (an hour away) to watch our dog after the dog sitter bailed on us in the middle of the weekend. But, I, on the other hand was really enjoying having all my friends and family in one place and lived it up that weekend! I paid for a dolphin siting cruise for all of us and I paid for another big dinner during that weekend. I hosted breakfast in our hotel room and ate out at good restaurants all weekend. It was a wonderful experience (except for my husband not being able to enjoy it of course) and worth every penny of the $7k.

The problem is when you put that big amount on a credit card and you only have about $1k discretionary income each month, it takes a while to pay that off. And then when you have unexpected medical bills and appliances breaking down or car repair bills (remember our car is not new) that you also have to put on that credit card, up goes the debt! But I sure did enjoy that wedding weekend!

So now, I want to retire from my full time job. If my husband were not ill I would work 2 more years until I can get Medicare but I think, at most, he only has 1 year left to be able to enjoy life even a little. I don’t want to spend that time working a 40+ hour job per week where I only get 2 weeks off each year while he spends his time sitting in a recliner watching TV because he is not well enough to go out into the world on his own and really cannot even drive anymore. I need to retire, if even only until he passes, so I can focus on him and his needs. Remember — til death do us part!

So, I find myself faced with a TON of financial questions I have to answer and plans I have to make. But I KNOW I will always err on the side of spending the money to enjoy life as opposed to not spending it and sitting at home with him. On his bucket list is seeing the Grand Canyon. I want him to see it soon. We cannot take traditional tours because of him having to feed himself every 4 hours and him needing privacy to do that. The best solution will be for me to do a driving trip with him where we can stop when he needs to and where eating is not the focus of the vacation.

I also have a sister whom I am very close with who lives 1200 miles away from us and her husband is also fairly ill so they can’t travel easily either. I want to spend time with them. I love them both.

Part of my husband’s illness is his autonomic system does not work well. Going from heat to cold is very difficult because his body cannot regulate for the temperature differences. We live in Florida. Summers are hot there! My husband cannot go out basically all summer long because he gets ill in the heat. This is why we moved to the mountains in NC a couple years ago — to escape the heat — but he could not handle winter either so living there did not work. But spending the summer there would help. In fact we are spending the week there now and he is loving it!

So where do all these wants and needs point to? In my book it points to a camper being the best solution. If we had a camper where he could sit in the back while I drive, we could see the Grand Canyon. We could spend next summer in the mountains and we could see my sister for much longer visits. It would solve many issues on how to enjoy the time of life he has left. Anot not to mention, maybe even I have left. If dementia strikes me like it did my mom then maybe I have til I am 70 to retain my freedom.

Some people might be afraid of taking the leap to living out of a camper for a year, but not me. I love trying new things and I love change. We have owned 2 campers before. I know what is involved. I want a self contained camper this time that does not need set up nearly as much as a travel trailer and like I said where my husband can sit in the back while I drive.

The financial questions around this camper, however, are many! Do we buy a camper? Do we rent a camper? Do we keep our house or do we sell it and put our stuff in storage temporarily? Or do we rent our house out? If we sell our house we can invest the money and use the return on the investment to live on while we travel. If we rent out our house, we could live off that also. How the hell (excuse my French) am I going to figure out the best decision on this one? And, I need to make the decision fairly soon because my husband does not have a lot of time left for sure.

I know most people would be to afraid to make a drastic decision like this, but I am not. That’s why I never have had money for very long. I always choose experience. If I have the money or the means, I always choose living life now — even before my husband became ill and even more so now. I will never have a large bank account and I probably always will be floating debt but I have lived life for sure.

I now have to decide exactly when to retire and whether to retire fully or try to maintain some type of part time income. I have to decide about a camper and I have to decide what to do with our house. But sitting on this patio overlooking the Blue Ridge mountains watching the sunset with my husband because the temperature is a comfortable 70 degrees I know I have to make the decisions for him. I may not make the right decision financially but regardless it will be the right decision to give him some joy in life and the ability to be outside all year round until he is bed ridden.

Even if you don’t have a dying husband, if you are 60+ you should be deciding how to use your money to maximize your joy in life while you can. Cancer, heart attacks, death can hit at any moment and the odds of these events multiply so much higher as you age. If you have plenty of wealth to enjoy life the more power to you but even if you are like me, I hope you choose joy whatever that looks like for you. Take the leap. Figure out how to make your finances work. But don’t wait until tomorrow if you are over 60. According to statista.com the death rate between 45-54 year olds to 55-64 years olds doubles! And between ages 65-74 it doubles again! Play the odds while they are in your favor and choose to enjoy life!

And if you have any advice on the best way to handle my finances to make camping around the U.S. for a year a possibility and how to do it with the lowest stress, feel free to comment on my blog with your opinions or advice!

Oh, and if you are wondering where the sex and food part is for this blog, stay tuned. This is one of a 3 part series!